Emotional Breakdowns

Are the worst. I am having the most emotional day ever.

This morning was rough, with my dad having to come up to school and try to be "tough guy" and get my schedule changed back. The way things are going today, gives me no hope that tomorrow will be any better and I'm sure now I'll just have to go back to Mrs. Ruderman's class and the rest of my senior year will suck more than even I can imagine at this point.

As the day went on, I wasn't in the best mood, but I stuck it out.
I went to Billy's, blah blah blah.
Then I went to art where my day that had seemed to have improved, spiraled back down.

On my drive home from art school, I started thinking about the things that are bothering me, making me act "WEIRD". I can't seem to figure it out, but apparently I'm being weird. I began to think of potential triggers of weirdness. The death card came into play which started to depress me. As passing Tottenville High School it occurred to me that my Grandpa did not get to live long enough to see me graduate, therefore, will not be at my graduation. This being, the final straw, leading to my emotional breakdown. I can't explain it because it came so suddenly but it was awful. So I stopped at Meaghan's to cry to her breifly and went home.

When I pulled up to my house at exactly 8:40, my alarm went off to take my pill. I then realized I didn't have my pill, because I didn't have my bag, because I left it all the way back at art school. Then I cried even more, declaring hatred on my life. So all alone, I drove back to art school to get my bag.

Now I am home, and depressed.
So all in all, I learned today that,
- My senior year is ruined.
- I'm going to be working 25 hours this week and will recieve pitiful pay.
- I'm becoming weird in a bad way.
- I don't like myself anymore.
- I don't want to go to Prom/Graduation anymore.
- And I will never be good enough for anything or anyone no matter what.