Saturday, January 31, 2009

How Do You Dry Strawberries?

Today was actually really nice.
My family is slowly reuniting.
My cousin Stacie is pregnant and I got to go with her to get a sonogram.
My ENTIRE family, (with my cousin and her family who we haven't been speaking to) went to eat at Applebees.
I watched Baby Mama with my aunt, it was silly and I thought it'd be funnier.


Then, Jade came over and we cooked!!!
Jade made sauce for the pasta and garlic for the garlic knots, while I focused on chocolate covered strawberries.

We ate pasta, garlic knots, chocolate covered strawberries, AND topped it off with ice cream on top of little cakes. It was out of this world! (This all took place at midnight)




ALSOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Karyn came by!!
Happiest half hour I've experienced in a WHILE.
I miss her SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much, and I was ecstatic to see her!

Thats all though.
Goodnight.

Friday, January 30, 2009

The World of Appreciation

I've always considered myself to be someone of little to no importance. Not in a pessimistic way, but in a realistic way. I see myself to be as one person amongst billions. Although I consider myself to be a good person, I have never really thought that I've done anything too spectacular to be appreciated for. But I realized tonight that its not about making a huge impact, It's about making a little impact. If you affect ONE person's life in your entire life, that is a pretty big deal, and I never really saw it that way. When I think about it though, there are actually a few people who affect me, seriously, and some of those few think they don't. Some who think they don't affect anyone at all. Someone like me, who assumes they aren't special to anyone other than their mothers. And that's not saying much for me because my sister beats me in that one. I may not be as special to those who I wish I was to, but I learned tonight that I am in fact special to someone. Carmine took me to the movies to cheer me up, and to see Benjamin Buttons for the third time. He is a really good friend to me. In fact, he is one of the greatest friends I have ever had. On the way home he actually gave me a speech on how much he values his friendship with me and just me as a person. Not a corny one either. A serious, from the heart, meaningful speech that actually made me cry. I don't think anyone has ever made me cry over something like that before. It's not something I hear everyday, or really ever. I can't really explain how it felt, but it gave me sort of a sense of purpose. It made me feel important, and most of all appreciated. I appreciated being appreciated. I think mostly because I'm not usually appreciated. But it made me think SO much. About everything. About everyone in my life; people who change my life, people who I wish knew changed my life, people that I appreciated more than I should have, people that I don't appreciate enough. I realized that I am not, not important. Just because I can't impact the world, doesn't make me not important. It just makes me all the more important to those few people in my life. Or so I hope.

Today was a really weird day for me. All in all it has made me feel different, somewhat better, and somewhat relieved, seeing as though I got to accomplish CLOSURE & appreciation all in one day. I got to do something I've wanted to do for a while now today, and I think I can finally move on from doing so. Although this week has been extremely rough on me, I know things will get better. They have to.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Something is wrong with my

Something is wrong with my eye. I feel drained. Eating honey mustard &onion pretzels listening to Explosions In The Sky. Iffy day, good friends.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

.



Okay well until this point in my life, the only person close to me that died was my aunt, and at 8 years old I didn't really understand much what was going on. In 3 months now, I lost my grandpa and my cousin. To be completely honest, I AM COMPLETELY LOSING IT. I don't even know what to do. I feel totally traumatized by the fact that I saw my cousin yesterday. It's really disappointing that the last time I got to see him was in his bed surrounded by drugs. And then to top it off, the last time I can remember him alive, was completely WRECKED at my Grandpa's funeral. I knew this day would eventually come but quite honestly I did not expect it to be anytime soon. My cousin had like 9 lives and ironically seemed to have more luck than anyone. But this is what HE chose. He did not want help, he did not want to stop taking drugs, he thought he could just live this way forever and this was the price he payed I suppose. I really regret not speaking to him in the last 3 months though. Not that I could have prevented this in any way, but as much resent I had towards him for turning out this way and not being there for me, he was still my cousin and I still loved him, and I didn't get to really tell him that. He was my childhood IDOL and I fucking adored him more than anyone in my life as a kid.I guess if there is anything I can thank him for, it'd be making me as against drugs as I am today. I can't stand to see my aunt the way she is. I've hardly left my room in the last 16 hours to avoid it. I was up all night. She is in hysterics and is talking to herself about weird random things. I think she has lost her mind and I can't see how she is going to live through this. I don't really have much else to say being that I'm in such a state of depression I can't even think straight. I think Brianna is coming over soon, but I don't know. I'm still going to go to work at 4.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Life is terrible and miserable

Life is terrible and miserable and shitty and i hate it. My cousin is dead and so is a piece of my aunt. I am not okay at all and i'm losing it.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I'm going to be a bald bride!

I had an EXTREMELY eventful day.
In fact, I can't even remember the last time I did so many things in one day. Aside from Nicole & Kaitlin I got to spend quality time with all of my best friends. It was GREAT.

Before I get into the "what I did today", I want to express how proud I am that I did a nice thing today. Like, I did a sincerely NICE thing. I crossed paths with a girl from my past that I literally dedicated my summers to abusing (when I was younger). I was such a dick to her, although she was no peach, I was still awful. When I went to the movies with muh gurlz she was working there and after we went back into the theatre something came over me that made me feel REALLY guilty about always making fun of her and making her cry. So I actually went back out to the snack counter and told her that I was sorry for making fun of her when I went to camp with her. She was so taken back and happy with my apology, it made me feel really good. I'm really a nice person and the fact that I was such a dick made me feel SO guilty. I'm really happy that I got to patch things up and I'm proud that I did that. Thats not an easy thing to do lol.

Anyway, this morning I actually woke up and went in for 3rd period just to give in extra credit to Mrs. Ruderman. TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY IN RUDERMAN'S CLASS!!!!!! Oh the joy!!!

Then Meaghan came home with me and watched half of Planes, Trains & Automobiles with me until we stopped watching it to watch Youtube videos instead. After that, I did errands and got hot chocolate with Alex and we chatted. Then after that, I went over Andrea's and we got to bond<3 We picked up Alyssa and went to Perkins! From there I picked up Kristina and we went to Brianna's! The three of us then went back to my side of the world and picked up Jade to make it to a 9:05 movie where we had our first monthly, GURLZ NIGHT!!!!! The movie was actually good until the end ruined it (Bride Wars). Oh how clever, they're both pregnant!! -_-

Now I'm home, and actually REALLY tired. Taking care of my dad who is really sick. I feel bad that I didn't really help him as much as I should have. But I am now.

Tomorrow Billy is coming with me to the city to REALLY get my slides developed, and then go back into Brooklyn to pick up forgotten belongings at Alex's apartment. That will be followed by ART SCHOOL WITH KAITLIN!
Can't wait.

Adios.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Jeepers Creepers

Well as anticipated, something about this weekend was bound to go shitty.

Ironically, yesterday went rather well. The chick baking party was a complete and total SUCCESS. And I actually had A LOT of fun.


WE MADE A SHITCAKE ^
It came out SO perfect.



The trip to Brooklyn was very pleasant, discussing the "Lovely Realstate" (heavy old lady "my mom" accent). The hour and a half waiting for Alex to arrive to his surprise party was interesting as was the party. I obviously had a very enjoyable time,




and fell madly in love with the unnamed new dog.



I worked all day and got a weird amount of stuff done during my break.
I got to surprise Christopher for his birthday and bring him a card, he loved it and was unbelievably happy that I remembered his birthday, as if I haven't come over EVERY year on his birthday since the 6th grade. Like I'd ever forget. -_-

After work I watched Ghost Whisperer with my family- even though I don't like that show or even TV for that matter.

Then I picked up Billy and we watched Jeepers Creepers.
It was terrifying -_-

Now I'm home, and I feel really shitty. I think sometimes I say too much. But other times I don't say enough. And I think me usually not saying anything leads to me having to say a lot.

I'm going to just go to bed I'm bummed.

I have to go back to the city tomorrow since I failed at getting my slides developed the first time, I loved how the place was closed. How exciting.

Friday, January 23, 2009

On the ferry with kristina.

On the ferry with kristina. Listening to some kid sing VERIZON WIRELESS. on our way to eat chipotles! Then getting my slides developed.Having fun

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Opportunities Define Life

Today was a really nice day.

I attended a full day of school, and then went to the movies with Kristina. We went to see Defiance for extra credit in English and ended up loving it. It was really touching, and also 2 hours. Then we snuck into The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button so I got to see it and enjoy it yet again. So in total we spend 5 hours at the movies. It was really entertaining. After that we rushed to my art school so I could give my portfolio to my art teacher. Tomorrow after school I have to go pick them up and get them developed as slides in the city with Kristina, Alex & Nat.
After that we swung by the mall to do returns for my mom and visit Cary.
We suspected a girl of shoplifting and it was hilarious. I had a good time.

Then I gave in to my silly guilty pleasure and went to Fusions =\
Every Staten Island girl has a secret Staten Island girl interest, mine happens to be that =(
But, IT WAS AWESOME. Completely & totally.

I had such a great day with Kristina and hope to have another with her tomorrow. As of right now, I'm EXHAUSTED. I've had a really satisfying day and I'm looking forward to getting off the computer, getting in my p.j's, and just going to bed!

Can't wait for my chicks night sleepover with Brianna tomorrow<3
It's going to be so gay but so fun :D

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Astronaut

I'm in a terrible mood.

I feel so mad and annoyed at everyone.
I spent the day stereotyping and trashing people from school in my head, and I've basically come to the conclusion that I hate minorites, a lot.
I also hate fat obnoxious people and it bothers me so much that people who are stupid, fat and obnoxious, most of the time, will NEVER IN THEIR LIFE think that they are stupid, fat and obnoxious. Maybe they'll realize fat, but they will always think highly of themselves and never come to terms with reality and realize exactly what they are. And that makes me so mad.

I really didn't even have such a terrible day. In school I was annoyed but once I got out the day started to get better. I went with Nat & Alex for some photos by the boats, got to spend a lot of quality time with Alyssa, which made me really happy, and then I went to work. I didn't even mind being at work. I repriced boxes and I got to complete my WonderWord word search puzzle in the newspaper, (a new hobby I've taken up during work-time). I enjoy it a lot for some reason. I acutally conversed with my boss and didn't leave biting my tongue.

But now, I'm home, and in my mood again. I'm so aggravated and I can't even pin-point what is setting me off. But everyone is making me mad and I think the best thing for me to do is to go to sleep, in my room, that I took the time to clean yesterday, for what turned out to be no apparent reason.

I'm miserable today.
Maybe seeing Erica tomorrow will put a smile on my face.



Just to cheer me up,

lolz like 2 years ago.
Oh Nick.

Listening to A Lack Of Color. So soothing.
DeathCabForCutie<3

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Okay well now that i

Okay well now that i know this thing works- MOBILE BLOG. i'm exhausted but can't sleep. Thinking about weird stuff. I wish brianna would call me!

How Did You HERE About This?

As a start, I have to say how I NEVER have more fun doing ANYTHING than driving to and from Art with Kaitlin. My stomach still hurts from laughing and my normal breathing patterns are just starting to set back in.

However, I'm in a really weird mood. I have been all day. I felt better at a few points during the day but I feel weird again. It's a weird week for me and even though each year it has a different effect on me I'm not sure what this year will bring. I'm very content with my life at this point in time and I have no reason to feel weird about it, but I sort of feel it building inside of me a little. Like I feel emotional for no reason. It's silly, I'll get over it.


Quite honestly, I spent a good portion of the day being very critical and judgemental. I've gotten to a point where I can't stand being in school surrounded by people. I feel like each day I become more and more unsociable and hate everyone just a little more with each passing day. I'm going to start being really snobby, I decided.

Anyway, today was a great day in history:
1. Rob Quinn turned 20.
2. OBAMA IS PRESIDENT -_- (MgGain 0P')

It was far too cold today and I didn't enjoy that.
-I snuck into the library with Billy, Ben, Nat & Alex for the INAUGURATION SPEECH.
-I Watched the worst parts of Passion of the Christ at Ben's.
-I went to Billy's.
-I fell asleep?
-I'm leaking.
-I'm tired/cranky.
-I'm sort of bummed.
-I finished my Eye at Art.

Right now I'm going to go watch Dane Cook talk about Magoogoo and how for just 15 cents a day you can save him.
Then, I'm going to put some Death Cab on loop and lay in my bed.
Maybe I'll get some more prank phone calls @ 1am from those JCC tough guys :D
I look forward. -_-

Monday, January 19, 2009

Magical Mitzvah Amusement Park

I guess I can say my 3 day weekend went pretty well.

Yesterday I got to spend a lot of time with Nick. Brianna came with me and I went over and made him soup because he felt sick. We played video games and watched football. It was very enjoyable and then we drove in the snow to Mikes Place for some grilled cheeses/frenchfries/milkshakes. Apparently Nick never goes to diners.

Then Brianna and I had a sleepover! I slept like a baby. I didn't wake up until almost 1 o'clock when Meaghan called me to go run errands with her. As Jade said, I don't even remember running errands. I remember getting in the car, picking up Jade, getting a bagel, and then going home LOL. Where Jade gave me (finally) my Hanukkah presents! She got me the Magical Mitzvah Amusement Park board game and Carpool Kenny, who we later named Carl (heavy Staten Island accent, "Caul") and then even more later stuck with "Clark". Now I can use him if I can't find a 3rd person to go get gas! And then get arrested obv. For impersonating a person. That would be hilarious.

Somehow ended up at Billy's with Jade, Brianna and Ryan.
A lot of feet.


and Billy got creepy v OBV.

It was quite fun.

Ready for bed, and not ready for english final tomorrow on "everything".
I hate Ms. Ruderman. Only one more week. But it's going to be rough =\

ART SCHOOL TOMORROW, waddup.
Night.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Here's To You Mrs. Robinson

Today was a really successful and enjoyable day, I must say.

I got to sleep late because the cleaning lady didn't show up.
Went on a lovely brunch with Andrew since he is going back to school tomorrow :\ wish I would have got to see him more this month.
I actually sat in my room for a good amount of time this afternoon and made use of the perfectly good surround sound system that was for my old computer, and found a way to hook it up to my iPod. So now I can listen to my iPod on surround sound. It's really cool and I'm actually really proud of myself. Just a little summin' summin' to spice up my room. Then after that I took the time to throw out a lot of garbage and just really clean my room. I got a lot done.

Then I went to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with my family. Honestly, really enjoyed it. I really liked it a lot. I was really into it and it did not seem to be 3 hours AT ALL. I'm glad I got to see it. Then we went for a "family dinner" to BellaMama and I ate ravioli. It was delicious but I could not eat the entire thing. It was pretty nice to spend actual time with my family I won't lie. I don't really get to that often and most of the time I eat my dinner alone. It's kind of depressing.

I got to make it to Fun Station in time for Lazzypoo's birthday to LAZor tag! So much fun! My team only won the first game, but really, I WON in the last game. I was totally on top of my game and shot up everyone. Probably Nat the most. He didn't like it and ended up giving up and putting his vest on Billy LOL. I loved it! Especially the part where Laz hit me with his gun repeatedly and held me hostage -_- LOL. But most importantly I got to hang out with Nicole and I really liked that a lot. I miss her sooooo much and I love her even more than how much I missed her. So I'm glad I got to spend some time with her.

After like 4 games of tagging we went back to Billy's and had some birthday cake without Laz? Well I didn't even eat it either. The boys stuffed their faces in it lolz. I had a nice time and then the chicks got tired so Ben drove us all home.

Overall, I had a very pleasant day and I can go to sleep completely content now.
I'd be even more content if I didn't have to wake up early for work tomorrow ... but I definitely need the $ so I can't complain.

Hopefully will see BriBri tomorrow!
Going to go fall asleep in my clean room with my soothing surround sound music now.
Goodnight.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME

LOLZ

No time to blog.

On a 48 hour sleepover with Kristina.

During the week.

Not accomplishing anything we are supposed to be accomplishing.

Laughing. A lot.

Bad food, good songs, in need of showers, completely delerious and overtired from sleeping 16 hours.

Lets see what we can do!





Oh! And legit Philly Cheese Steaks tomorrow! WAAADDDUUUPPPPP, DEAD d-e-d!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

They Call Me LuLu Cause I'm Crazaay!

I FINISHED AND SUBMITTED MY PORTFOLIO TODAY!!
Words cannot begin to explain how relieved I feel.

Today was completely AWESOME. I got so many good things done.
- I GOT SWITCHED OUT OF RUDERMAN'S CLASS!!!
- I got to hang out in Adam Jacob's class.
- I got to laugh at the argument of abortion with Nat in govt.
- I got an oil change.
- I got my headlights fixed.
- I got to see Nick for his birthday.
- I finished my portfolio.
- I submitted my portfolio.
- I got to congratulate Tia on making FIT.

I'm just really in a lovely mood. Billy and Ben came with me to get my oil changed and it was very interesting. Argued over SMORGASBORDS and met LuLu. Entertaining enough. Then I got to hang out with Billy before I went to art.


lolz vag cream.


Peace nigguh!

Monday, January 12, 2009

hallaahh

A truly uneventful day.

- Woke up late.
- Got to school on time.
- Fell asleep for 2 full periods in school without being woken up 0_o
- Drove home Nathaniel.
- Went to Denino's for Giovanni's birthday.
- Got a stomachache.
- Went to the mall with Alyss!
- Bought Billy some more candle shit.
- Went to Fusions with Alyssa & Gabby :( it was awesome; guilty pleasure :(
- Art school, got things accomplished.
- Hung out with Billy.
- Talked to my mom.
- Blogging.


I'm overtired and bored.
I'm taking a shower and going to bed.
Without doing Ruderman's homework.

On tomorrow's agenda,
- Attempt to get out of Ruderman's class.
- Get an oil change.
- Do art all day baby.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Cetus Lapetus

Okay, Senior Ski Trip 09' pretty much went like this:

It pretty much sucked for the most part. Well maybe not sucked, I definitely had a little fun when we made our own fun, but overall the place sucked, so it was hard to. There wasn't enough to do and the things to do weren't efficient. The entire trip was super unorganized and people got in trouble left and right. Girls were even sneaking in old guys and having sex with them. Dumbasses. On the way up I sat with Erin. We watched Pineapple Express and ate way too many snacks. On the way back I sat with Erin again and we had no more snacks :( but we had some good stories and good music.


I roomed with Meaghan, Arjeta and Stephanie When we got to our room, our bed was broken. It turned out it was not broken, the person before us thought it would be funny to flip the frame over so we'd fall in. I forgot to flip it back before I left :(

Friday night was kind of boring because we arrived at an awkward time. The dinner, followed by every meal we ate, was absolutely terrible. In fact, I ended up getting really sick last night. It wasn't fun, in fact I was pretty much crying.


Yesterday we got a 8am wake up call- which I did not enjoy, and went paintballing. It was pretty fun. I was actually terrified because I feared getting shot in the neck, but it was alright. I didn't however, enjoy being pelted with millions of paint rocks AFTER being out and trying to just get out. I have little bruises/welts on my arms and hips. Awful. But I did enjoy it. I got to lazer tag with Jade, that sucked too. And Jade and I also attempted to go horseback riding -_-


Jade didn't want to kick the horse and it was grumpy, as was mine. I'm glad we didn't go through with it. All of the staff at the ranch were absurdly rude and mean for no reason. They are just bitches because they live in such a silly place.

I did however, enjoy bundling up with my boo!
We looked so adorable all dressed up in our winter attire!

I will not lie I had fun with my friends. But really I missed Kristina a lot and wished she was there the entire time. I said it like a trillion times. Meaghan can definitely vouch for me lol. It just wasn't right without her.



At night I went outside with Arjeta, Meg, Steph, Corinne, Tom and Kevin. I actually loved playing in the snow A LOT. I even made a snow angel all by myself.

It came out quite lovely I will admit.

But in all honesty, the highlight of the ENTIRE trip was definitely the crossdressing contest that Vin Tardy OWNED. It was hilarious.

As for the rest of the night, I hung with the cool people obviously. Dave and I ate the best fries of the whole trip. They were actually delicious. Then we watched Vegas Vacation and Family Matters when my severe stomach ache started :(

Don't really have much more to write about the ski trip because I did not care for it all that much, but here are some cutie patootie pictures to remember the good parts of the night:






Today I came home, and went to the mall with Brianna. We visited Cary for a bit and then I bought Billy candles. From there I went over to Billy's and got to eat some pepperoni pizza with him and his mom. We had a very nice night! Now I just unpacked since my dad yelled at me to, and now I want to go to sleep so I can actually wake up tomorrow, seeing as though I've managed to get about 10 hours of sleep in the last 3 days -_-

Goodnight.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Oh -_-

Blog for the weekend, just moments away from leaving for my senior trip. Not excited whatsoever anymore now that Kristina isn't coming. I almost don't even want to go without her. I can't believe this happened :(

Today has been such a shitty day which is causing me to have a negative outlook on this weekend. I woke up to the depressing news of Maya, picked up Billy in my pajamas, had to pump gas and freeze my ass off, didn't go to 2nd period, put on deoderant like 4 times because I was so disoriented I couldn't remember if i put it on or not, walked up the down staircase at school and got pushed and shoved and then had to come home and pack. I'm in a terrible mood and I almost feel like getting into my bed and going to sleep for the weekend.

I'm sure I'll have a very nice time this weekend, or I at least hope I do, but right now I'm just not into it. I'm going to wish Kristina was with me the whole time. This sucks.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

I got you toilet paper for your birthday.

Today was GREAT. Honestly. When I woke up this morning I contemplated dragging out my senioritis into 2 days of staying home but I decided to go the right way and do the right thing. I went to school, and learned nothing obviously. Except in math, I love my math class.

After school I got a haircut, I get a lot of haircuts. I feel like my hair will never get longer than the point it is at despite how healthy I keep it by constantly trimming it. Oh well, I keep trying anyway. Then Brianna and I took a completely random and spontaneous trip to Chipotle's! We just got on the train and went! We met this amazingly cool eavesdropping man that I assume to be Joe. He completely barged in on our conversation of tatoos and gave us advice, stories, and personal input on the situation. He is all for tatoos. Then he re-entered the conversation a few minutes later about Brianna's cousin being a model and how she can airbrush her tatoos if she wants to be a Victoria's Secret model. He also carried a mysteriously shaped instrument case that I will forever be curious about. As well as what his real name was. Chipotle's was delicious although I didn't have enough chicken =\ It was still amazingly satisfying. Then on the way home we laughed to tears over the 40 year old homewrecker sitting next to us. If you closed your eyes you'd think we were sitting next to someone our age. Talking about texting and hanging out and married men. Whata hoeeee. It was hilarious.

THEN, the best part of the day, we went job hunting and found the most insanely perfect job! I'm pretty sure we got it, since we are overly experienced for the job, are the first to apply, and the lady is totally cool. She reminded me a lot of Karyn which made me want the job even more. Its at this newly built kids party place. It is AWESOME. Its very unique, especially the Asian decorated, fake sushi room and the room with the drums and guitar to make your own music video. I would be ecstatic if I got to work with Brianna again and also got to have another job working with kids. I really truly loved my job at afterschool and was very upset to lose it. But this job seems even better. No Lisa Quinn, no jerks, no doing homework, no rules! It will be such a fun job and I'm really really excited!

Then I went shopping at Target and Bed Bath & Beyond for last minute ski trip items. Succeeded. Now I have a lot of packing to do. FUN FUN FUN. I don't care about this at all -_-
In fact, I'm almost contemplating bringing NOTHING. It would be so convenient. I don't have to have all my stuff searched, I won't lose anything, I won't have to unpack when I get back. It'd be so easy. But it would suck lol.

Lastly, to end a great day, I went and visited my Jadie at work and also brought her a SCRUB BRUSH :) and she gave me free pizza. yum. We chatted for about a half hour and now I'm home!

Going to pack now. -_-

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Earache

I stayed home from school today and slept until Meaghan called me at like 1:30. We went on a completely pointless drive down to Farrell to pick up Jeff but then he decided to stay in school. I ate the worst macaroni & cheese in the world, and went to work. Work wasn't too bad, I got to spend 3 and a half hours cleaning dusty shelves. It made work go by pretty quickly and I didn't have to interact with any people. Wasn't in the mood to. I came home, took a shower, and now I just laughed at this video of Nicole's little brother. That was probably the highlight of my day.

I have an incredibly painful earache. Ben told me to put water on it, so I did, but it hasn't gone away :(
I have a lot to do tomorrow:
- School
- Haircut
- Spend time with Brianna
- Search for a second job
- Last minute Ski Trip shopping
- Go to Art and do as much work on my portfolio as possible
- Try to see Andrew
Lets see how much of that I actually get to do.


I found these pictures on my additional hard drive,
from December 27, 2007. Things are SOO different.
It sucks when people stop being fun. It's a little depressing.


OH and major LOLZ at the JCC losing their grant for the afterschool program. I don't believe in karma, but I am eternally grateful the JCC got what they deserved. FUCK THE JCC!!!!!


But lastly, this picture put a very big smile on my face:
OH LAWD! -_-
I love my Jadie always and forever :)
Although I do wish I knew what we were thinking.


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Navigator

Well I just had a completely ridiculous but horrible fight with both of my parents. I've made up with my dad but I think it's going to take some time for my mom and I to get back on track. She said some harsh stuff. I knew this was coming though since my dad had been extremely hostile and mean towards me for the last two weeks. I hate when this happens so much. I kind of lost my voice and I have a terrible headache now. My mom even called the police on me. SO uneccessary. This night was pretty awful. There are a lot of things bothering me at the moment and being in this mood is not helping. As far as the day went, I got nothing done as usual. I went to school, went to Applebee's with Jade, went to the meeting about the ski trip, hung out with Billy and Ben for like an hour, and went to art school. My portfolio has to be done in like 4 days and I couldn't be anymore stressed out. I was kind of looking forward to the Ski trip this weekend but now I feel like it's totally interfering with my last two days on working on my portfolio. It will still be nice to get away but I definitely could have used this weekend more efficiently.

This day pretty much sucked and the only fun part was driving away from zombies on Jade's new phone. It is like mapquest and says that there are zombies on the streets and we have to drive away from them. So the whole way to our destination we are screaming and swerving up side streets to avoid them. Or they will eat our brains. It is the most dangerous game ever and if we play it more I'm sure we will get into a terrible accident trying to escape the zombies. We even almost ran over a bunch of pigeons. Other than that, I have nothing positive to say about this day.

Tomorrow is always another day.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Artificial Beauty

Today was pretty great I must say. Aside from having to go back to school, all positive things happened today. I woke up, EXHAUSTED from being up half of the night doing index cards. Picked up Jade and Meaghan as usual, and drove home Billy and Ben, as usual. First I went to Ben's, and had to pee obviously. Then I picked up Cary & Gab and got to buy a jacket for the ski trip from Zumiez. I'm very satisfied with my purchase. Then I picked Ben and Billy back up, and took Ben to PM School. I had to awkwardly listen to Billy's mom be mad :( but I played with Jessica and let her scratch up my enitre chest. I have cute little welts, I love them. Then I watched Billy play a skateboarding game for about an hour. Then he ruined my sweater -_-

Actually got stuff accomplished at art today, which means I completed everything on my to-do list for today from yesterday.

The launch party was SO cool. We met some really interesting people, and some really creepy people. We got to watch the premiere with the girls from the show.


Brianna's cousin Laura is sooooo pretty and I think Ashley may be the prettiest girl I have ever met in my life. The show True Beauty is really silly but I will only continue to watch it now because I know the girls. They are cool, but not TRULY pretty. Artificially. Which takes away from the point of the show, but whatever. I had a really really nice time with Bri and Margo. Then we ended a perfect night with the Single Ladies song. Really perfect. I'm going to learn the dance. It may be the most ridiculous song I've ever heard in my life. But for the lolz I want to learn it.
I am completely exhausted and not going to do my math homework.
Oh well.
^ Love of My Life.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Tricky

I've had an eventful two days. Yesterday I picked up Billy and we went to Best Buy yet again, failed at using his gift card at Zumiez, but got to use his gift card at Subway where I ate an "Italian B.M.T". I'm not sure what an Italian B.M.T really is but all I got on it was pepperoni, salami, and American cheese. It was a really silly sandwich but it was definitely tasty. Later on we picked up Ben and started to rearrange Billy's basement. It was a really rough job at first, but after Brianna came things picked up. We got a lot done and the basement looks pretty cool. Then we spent the rest of the night watching ridiculous cheesy horror movies. Overall it was a satisfying night.
Today I worked from 10-6 and then went to dinner at Denino's with Brianna. It was delightful.
I started a new chapter of my life today that I get to carry with me in a little black case at all times. I'm looking forward to the life of less worries that this product promises!


My plans for tomorrow include:
-Back to school :(
-Buy the ski jacket I wanted.
-Go to Art and get something done.
-LAUNCH PARTY FOR REALITY SHOW WITH BRIANNA!
I am so so so excited. I'm going to a Launch Party for a reality show that Brianna's cousin is in. That is really cool and I'm so pumped. I have to find something fitting to wear.


I have 30 index cards to write now, so it is going to consume the rest of my night and I imagine sometime into the morning hours. I am not happy about it, but procrastination has left me no other option. Andrew is attempting to help me so we'll see how it goes. =(

Friday, January 2, 2009

Flavorful

A great weight has been lifted off of my shoulders today. I feel a lot better and was able to enjoy my day. My dad woke me up entirely too early this morning to take down our Hanukkuh tree, but I didn't help enough so he's still mad at me. Whatever. Then I picked up Billy and his mom gave us a gift card to Fridays. So we went for lunch. We had the creepiest waitress EVER. She smiled way too much and was just really really weird. Then we spent like a good 45 minutes exploring Best Buy, and failed at adding apps to my iPod. I have to pay $9.95 for new software. Not cool at all. I stopped at Art School and picked up my portfolio. I still have a lot of stuff to do and not much time left. My priorities are totally wack and I'm never going to finish in time. I keep procrastinating and stressing but its completely my fault that I'm in the position so I have nobody to blame but myself.
I went to see Yes Man with Meaghan and Sarah. It was a ridiculously stupid movie but absurdly funny at the same time. It should have been titled Liar, Liar 2. I honestly cracked up for half of the movie though. Some parts just really entertained me. Overall it was a lame and silly movie, but I really enjoyed it honestly. I want to go see it again with Kaitlin and only Kaitlin because I feel we would have a ridiculously fun time and pee our pants laughing (well I would). Just because she would appreciate the funny parts the way I did. Then I picked up Jade and Cary and we went through the Burger King drive thru. We just spent the remainder of the night talking. We got in some good stuff. Tomorrow I want to sleep as late as I can because it's my last day of vacation; work Sunday =(, but my mom has the cleaning lady coming in the morning.....not happy about it.
I can't believe this break is over, and I'm pretty sure my senior research index cards are due the day we go back. Too bad I had months to complete them on my own, a full week of our english class being in the library, and only managed to do 1. Again, entirely my fault and my fault only. But my topic is silly and I thought I was taking the easy way out. When I changed my mind my teacher changed hers as well and decided she really wants me to stick with Teenage Pregnancy -_-
Ms. Ruderman doesn't want my class to graduate. She is ruining my senior year.
My eyes are extremely itchy and I'm exhausted.
Kristina is coming home from Ohio tomorrow and I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SO excited. I miss her so much. Even though I'm bummed we aren't going to the aquarium anymore, hopefully we'll get to go bowling instead. Jade wants to hang out as well so I'm going to have to work something out.
I'm done, goodnight.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Its Nine In The Afternoon



At the moment I'm extremely stressed. But I won't let it take away from my somewhat successful past two days. My New Years was not half as awful as I anticipated it to be. Although I suffered from a terrible migraine for the first portion of the day, it eventually went away and I sort of enjoyed myself. I got to take a really hilarious picture with my cousin of us as Chuck & Larry and one of me alone on Jack Black's body in Nacho Libre. It amused me. I took a lot of pictures with the familia,

I will admit that after the ball dropped I went in the bathroom and cried for a few minutes. I got a tad emotional lol. But then Carmine had called me at like a quarter after 12 and I was really shocked, it cheered me up. The party was totally absurd and I gossiped with my MOM a lot. Very entertaining. We slept at my mom's friends house and today I played Rock Band ALL day with my munchkins.
I rapped the Beastie Boys, not very well, but I had a blast and was embarrassingly into it.
Then we ate at a restuarant called Landmark. I didn't have much of an appetite. So I ate a grilled cheese obv.
When we got home I went with my cousin to Billy's, where his mom showed me all her Christmas presents and I experienced him, Ben and Falex playing like fools in the dark, trying to suffocate me with pillows and punch me in the stomach. It was fun. Then we went to Nat's. It was extremelyyyyyy entertaining until I started being a worry wart again. Billy made me feel a lot better though so I'm going to just attempt to be optimistic like he said to be. My first step towards optimisticism, if thats a word, is going to watch the rest of Zodiac with Sarah. Hopefully I will wake up in a mess that I will be forever grateful for.
Goodnight.


No Sleep Till Brooklyn

Well New Years was pretty cool. I don't feel like writing about it all right now but I will later. Right now I'm still in Jersey waiting to go out for dinner. I'm not feeling so hot right now. I just sang on Rock Band for 4 hours so my throat really hurts and I'm being a worry wart. It's not fun.
2008 sucked until about the summer. I wasted almost the whole year being depressed and dwelling. But over the summer I was taught not to be like that anymore I guess and I let myself change. After July, 2008 didn't suck too much anymore but I ended this year with a scary issue.. I really hope it is okay but to be completely honest I'm terrified. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that its not what I think. I'm not sure how to think and I'm really upset. I'm going to Nat's later, hopefully I can stop thinking about it and tomorrow I will have to officially take care of this problem. Hopefully it's nothing and things will happen as planned...

if not, suicide might sound like a good idea.